The gym

I just got home from my first day at the gym. I've been too lazy trying to wake up in the morning, so I went tonight after work. I showed up and gave the woman at the front desk my membership card. She gave me a gym-issued T-shirt and shorts. I knew that they wouldn't have a size big enough for me, but I wanted to see how big Koreans can make their clothes just for future reference. I got my gym shoes out of my locker (you have to have a pair of sneakers at the gym, that are only worn in the gym, it's a cleanliness thing) and I went to the mens' changing room. There were naked men everywhere. When I enter a situation like this my vision never drops below neck level, and I make as little eye contact and conversation as possible. But not Koreans. I noticed their eyes never come up above the waist. They only look at their neighbors junk and that's all. Gross. Needless to say I got out of their as quickly as I could try my Korean XXL shirt and shorts on. The shirt was pulled skin-tight around my chest, but since I've already lost a lot of weight it was loose around my belly. The shorts were a different story. I almost went back to the front desk to tell them they only gave me half of them. The waist band was snug around my left thigh.
As soon as I got out of the changing room, I saw a Korean man who got a huge smile on his face when he saw me. He ran to me and grabbed my hand. He said he wanted to get my body composition and put me on a training program. I found out they do this with everybody, but the body composition machine didn't work. So they guy just walked out of the body composition room without saying anything else.
I left the room too to go work out. The Canadian girl told me to try the abdominal machine because she used it and had problems with it. She wanted to know if it was her or the machine. I sat in the seat and set the weight so I would be lifting half of the weight available. It was as if there was no weight at all. So I set the weight so I was lifting all of it. It was very easy and uncomfortable, so I began trying different techniques to figure the machine out. After about 5 sit-ups a Korean man ran up to me and made a face like he was constipated. I could tell he wanted me to tense up my abs. So I put on a strained face and continued my figuring-out process. This didn't please the man. His face showed even more constipation and he began pointed to his stomach. He then decided to poke my stomach to make sure I was tense enough. I continued working out with this guys finger poking my stomach. He wasn't pleased with my degree of tension. So I said, "Dude, I'm fat. Your only feeling my fat." He didn't know what I said and he replaced his finger on my stomach to continue the poking. I then stood up and told him I was done. He smile and said, "Wery wood."
This experience has taught me many things. 1) Stop being lazy in the morning so I can avoid the guy who wants my body composition, 2) When I work out, make my face look I'm constipated so people don't poke my belly, 3) Stay out of the changing room.